you’re engaged! now what?
First of all, congratulations!! You’re engaged! Someone loves you SO much that they want to legally and spiritually bind their life to yours forever. The concept alone is wild, but how amazing! Revel in this new relationship status because in the blink of an eye you’ll be married and calling your significant other something else completely.
The minute you get engaged, people begin asking, “When are you getting married?” “Where are you getting married?” “HOW are you getting married?” Just kidding with that last one. They mostly just want to know when, as if you’ve planned everything miraculously overnight. What I want you to do is take a minute to simply enjoy being engaged. When people ask you any of the questions I mentioned above, say, “Hey! It’s so good to hear from you! We’re just enjoying being engaged right now but we’ll let you know as soon as we have more concrete plans” or something along those lines.
Don’t let the number of people who are seemingly demanding more details about your future nuptials stress you out. This is your engagement, your timeline and YOUR collective life. I want you to take all the time you need to enjoy one another in this new phase of life because there will be plenty of distractions once the wedding planning process actually begins, trust me, and when that time comes, you also get to determine how fast or slow you take that process.
When you’re ready, sit down with your future spouse and talk about these three things:
1. Budget
Who’s paying for this thing?
How much money do we collectively have/want to spend on the wedding vs. a down-payment on a house or the honeymoon?
2. Priorities/Non-Negotiables
What are each of our top five priorities? (e.g. food, music, ambiance, etc.)
What are the top priorities of the people funding this celebration?
3. Guest List
Who do we want to celebrate with?
Who do the people funding this celebration want to celebrate with?
Your budget, priorities and guest list will help narrow your options and help determine what kind of wedding you’ll have as will the budget, priorities and guest list of the people funding it.
For example, if you have a specific venue in mind but it can only accommodate 125 people, but you have 275 people on your guest list, you have to make a compromise: cut 150 people from your guest list or find a different venue.
Your budget may also present some limitations itself. Say your guest list is firmly at 275 and isn’t going down from there, but you’re also on a more conservative budget. This is your opportunity to get ~crafty~. Who do you know with a massive backyard that loves you a lot? What kind of public spaces allow you to host large gatherings with maybe just a permit from city hall?
But for now, enjoy this brand-spanking new relationship status, remember that you alone determine the timeline and if you’re really ready to get started, begin talking about your budget, priorities and guest list with your future spouse and anyone who might be helping you fund this little soiree.
xo, Amy